It Isn’t Always Easy


It isn’t always easy being a parent. Sometimes it isn’t something I want to do. Don’t get me wrong. Being a Mom and having my Kiddies in my life is the biggest blessing I could have ever received. Yet that parent part. You know, that part where you have to be the adult and that voice of reason – that is the part that sometimes I wish I could hit pause or pass on. Just be a friend and support. That would be so much easier. Yet would it be better? Probably not. So instead we parent, we love them so we do it all – the hard and the easy.

Isn't-Always-Easy

It isn’t always easy to hear your child, that piece of your heart, on the phone telling you how much they miss home and wish they could just pick up and come back. Nope. Not easy at all. Especially when the first thing you want to say is “pack your stuff I’ll be there in a couple hours“. Instead you have to parent – to be a parent – and tell him that he will be home soon and he can make it just a little bit longer. You have to stay his woes and reassure him that he is there for a reason and that he can handle it.

This is the part no one told me about. I heard about the pride and the joy in having your child achieve something as important as College yet no one told me about the missing, worrying and longing. No one mentioned how my heart would ache when he sounded lonely, said he hadn’t eaten all day or even had a class he just didn’t think he could handle. I must have missed that part of the College Mom handbook. I made it though prom, senior pictures, and college fairs but this part is a bit much. This part has those moments when I just want to throw in the grown up towel and tell my baby to come home where I can take care of him, where things are familiar and comfortable- for both of us.

To come home where I can make sure he eats 3 times (okay more like 6) a day, where I know where he is at night and where I can be there in an instant as a shoulder or an ear for him. That’s not okay though. I can’t do that. I’m Mom. I’m the adult. I have to stay rational, logical and clear headed. Right?

So instead of jumping in my truck to go get him I stay on the phone and talk him through that moment’s emotions and assure him they will pass and get easier. It’s homesickness but it will get better. He’ll be okay. He’ll be home soon. Time will fly. All those things a parent says in spite of what they may be feeling. The things I say not only to convince him but myself as well.

Then came that day when he walked in the door and said “hey Ma” that day had been longed for but it also had to be waited on. He was home. We could exhale. It had been rough on some days and a breeze on other but it was only in the waiting and the learning from the wait that he could realize that he could do it on his own. Shoot! That I could realize he could do it! Those days when I wanted to run and get him were the days I had to learn to trust and wait on the way I taught him knowing that he didn’t really need me as much as he thought he did – or even as much as I thought he did.

From that day and for nearly a month, we made memories and enjoyed the time at home but when it was time to go back we had our moments. The hesitation and the delay in wanting to leave the comfort of a place he knew. So again I did the Momma thing – that parenting thing. I told him he would be fine, that I was always here no matter what, only a phone call away but that he had to do this for himself. We marked the dates when he would be home next, gave out hugs and let him go…again.

I won’t say that part gets easier. The letting go. I never want to see him leave but each time he does I see a bit more confidence in his step. He’s growing from a young man into a man. That is what really matters.

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TheMrsTee

Blogger & Social Media Influencer at TheMrsTee
Tiffany is the ‘ Tee’ behind TheMrsTee.com - a Lifestyle Blog created as a place to share her love of all things Faith, Family, Fashion, Food, Fun, Tech & Travel. Tiffany has established her influence within both the Blogging and Vlogging Communities. She is a 2016 VOTY Award Honoree, Contributing Author with iBlog Magazine and BlogHer.com. Tiffany has also been a Panelist for the MomsEveryday TV Show for 2 Seasons.
Find MrsTee

About TheMrsTee

Tiffany is the ‘ Tee’ behind TheMrsTee.com - a Lifestyle Blog created as a place to share her love of all things Faith, Family, Fashion, Food, Fun, Tech & Travel. Tiffany has established her influence within both the Blogging and Vlogging Communities. She is a 2016 VOTY Award Honoree, Contributing Author with iBlog Magazine and BlogHer.com. Tiffany has also been a Panelist for the MomsEveryday TV Show for 2 Seasons.


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77 thoughts on “It Isn’t Always Easy

  • Apryl

    I feel your pain! My sons are still very young but I was just thinking eariler today how quickly time flies and before I know it I will be driving them to college and helping them fix up their dorm rooms. The same way my Mom and Dad did for me! It almost brought tears to my eyes to think that they day is NOT as far away as it may seem! I pray that things get better for your son and that he will gain great independence and wisdom through this milestone in his life! Blessings!
    My recent post Winterize Your Natural Hair

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks Apryl! Yes, time definitely goes by way to quickly at times. It is so important to treasure every single moment. That day definitely came a lot faster than I thought it would…Thank you so much! It has gotten better. Once he had a bit of time at home he felt a lot better. Many blessings to you as well and thanks for coming by 🙂

  • Jenny Evans

    New here, came to check it out from Mommy Monday. This is my first time linking up and I'm excited to read more from you. I'm following you on Pinterest. I'm not at the stage where the birds are leaving the nest yet, and it's a good reminder for me to appreciate having all 7 of us sleeping under the same roof while it lasts. Even if the kids are waking each other up all night.
    My recent post What Motherhood Taught Me About God: Our Infinite Worth

  • Sharon from herorganizedchaos.com

    You made me so teary. My oldest is 8 and it's hard to grasp sometimes that she isn't baby and little like her 2 year old brother and 1 year old sister. Thanks for opening up and sharing this. Pinning and sharing. Thanks for linking this up to Totally Terrific Tuesday last week. I can't wait to see what you have this week! Party goes live tonight at 9pm CST!

    Sharon
    herorganizedchaos.com

  • Camesha

    I agree with another commenter that you look like his sister!

    I can relate to this post. My babies are still small but there are times I feel like "where is the grownup that handles this stuff for me". I can imagine it only gets harder the older they get.
    My recent post What Mom Brain Looks Like

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thank you Camesha..

      Exactly, sometimes being a grown up can get overwhelming. It doesn\’t get easier but we all can do it because of how much we love our kids.

  • tamaralikecamera

    Aww! I imagine that it's SO hard. I always want to do everything with Scarlet, even walk into her classroom and sit with her and hug her all day, but I have to let her fly.
    And that's just kindergarten.
    I suppose even though it never easier, do we get better at doing it?
    My recent post The Sad Airplane Ask Away Friday.

    • MrsTee Post author

      Yes, letting them fly can be harder than it sounds but the end results are so worth it. Yes, we definitely get better – luckily The Teenager is prepping me for my 3 younger ones 😉

  • Steph marks

    Your post was a little walk down memory lane. My kiddos are grown and I have grandbabies, but I remember those feelings. "I’m Mom. I’m the adult. I have to stay rational, logical and clear headed." This made me chuckle. I'll let you in on a little secret. Even when they're grown with babies of their own, you still miss them and feel sad to see them leave. And that's just fine. Keep up the good work!
    My recent post So many diet books, so little time to figure them out

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks Steph…Oh No! It doesn’t go away??? LOL…Lawd Help me! 😀 Thank you so much for coming by and for the encouragement….I truly appreciate it!

    • MrsTee Post author

      Awww…sorry. I would just say to enjoy and treasure every single moment. They can grow up so fast it can feel like a blink of an eye.Your so welcome and thank you so much for coming by!

  • Mari

    Tiffany great share. I guess I am blessed my lil mama is in College but lives at home though there are days we don't see each other except in passing. I can totally understand the worry and concerns you share because I feel those too at times. Ahhhh Good Parenting is a road full of emotions but great rewards. Hang in there lol again great share 🙂
    My recent post Turn it Up Tuesday NYC Blizzard style

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks Mari! You are definitely blessed even if you have a few missed days. It is so full of emotions but it is all for a better end 😀 Thanks so much for the encouragement and for coming by! 🙂

  • mrachellhough

    What a wonderful post! I'm struggling with the mother of a teen thing right now. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about how I only have 2 years left with her and then she will be out into the world on her own. Thank you so much.

  • Nancy

    As always, I love reading your posts Tiffany! I am not there yet, all of mine are still little uns' but I cringe when I think about it…My hubby always says i am such a softy and I need to be a little tough so those moments will be tough for me!!

    • MrsTee Post author

      Oh Wow! Thanks so much Nancy! Definitely enjoy every moment now…time seems to go by so quickly. I’m known as the softy too…it’s okay to be soft – sometimes 😉

  • Courtney

    oh man the let em go hope you gave em all the tools mind set is not one I'm ready for yet! I mean Aria is two, so definitely not the time ha. But, man I'm sure it will come way too soon. Love this post though. You have to trust that you've done your job and now it is their turn to trust themselves. Parenting…definitely hard.

    • MrsTee Post author

      Yes Courtney I feel I have but that letting go doesn’t get any easier. The time definitely moves a bit too fast. Thank you so much I do trust it and I can’t wait to see where he goes…I know he has great things ahead.

  • Lindsay Klein

    Oh man my heart, I was tearing up reading that remembering how much I hated college and cried to my mom all the time! I remember crying when in 6th grade a classmate turned all of my friends against me and my mom told me later on in life she was dying for me:( Mothers feel everything, Oh my god I'm going to have to hide and cry 24/7 when I'm a mom!!!

    • MrsTee Post author

      Awww…he has days when he is excited about everything but on those ‘other’ days…it can definitely be a struggle. Mothers definitely feel it all…You won’t hide you’ll definitely want to but you won’t and I know you will be awesome!

  • Amanda Made

    Great post! I find it is helpful to talk about things and get feedback on them to help me get through situations in my life! A few years ago while coversating on the phone with my mother she had the epiphany that she had to let me make my own decisions in life and that no matter what she will be there for me! Sometimes as humans we learn through our mistakes! Being there and supporting your children can really help, it shows them that you trust them which will help to make better decisions! Your post is great! Thanks for sharing!
    -{AmandaMade}-
    My recent post •{Victorian necklace}•

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks Amanda! It really does help to get things out even if it is just on the screen or on paper. That really is an epiphany at times because we are taught to believe that as a parent it is you job to take care of your child in every way BUT they don’t always cover when you should retire…LOL Thank you and thanks so much for coming by 🙂

  • Siobhan Sudberry

    My children are 8 and 6 and I feel a piece of my heart walk out the door every time I drop them off at school. I feel like they're growing up so fast and and often wonder are they "really" listening when I'm talking. I can tell by the post that you're a fabulous mother and doing an phenomenal job. #BLMgirl

    • MrsTee Post author

      Yes, I have one more to send out to school and I am dreading that day even though I\’ve already done it 3 times…LOL It is only since The Teenager has gotten to this point that I realize he has been listening…it may not be apparent right away but you can see it in their choices and actions. Thank you so much Siobhan! I truly appreciate you coming by and the encouragement 🙂

  • Ray

    OMG, I need your number Aug 20th, 2015!!!!!! That is when I will kiss mine goodbye from Illinois as she heads to California!!!! I am so NOT PREPARED, and this had me crying like a baby….. You have to write a post on how to get through that phone call. What do you say? What do you not say??? How the heck do you not get on the first plane and go get them???? Ok….. Let me know when you write that so that I can read it over and over again!!!!!
    My recent post Why I Dislike Zoos and Aquariums

    • MrsTee Post author

      LOL…DM me and I will gladly be there!! Oh see mine is only 2 hours away…I talked him out of anything further than that…LOL Now he is happy I did BUT we are still getting through it and you will too – I promise! I will try to write that post for you too 😉 Let me know if you need me (seriously…) and thanks for coming by today 🙂

  • Mrs.AOK

    :::HUGE HUGS:::
    I cannot even imagine, I would want to jump in my truck too. My daughter has been nervous about finishing out practicing and trying out for the high school softball team, she was considering not doing it. Now, to be honest I was a bit hesitant of her even attending, this meant she was going to be with older girls, she is still a baby, but I didn't want to stand in her way, her dreams. Now, I don't want "her" to stand in her own way, she has it. Your son has it, and as much as we would love to take them in our arms and shield them from pain, doubt, and sadness, we can push ever so gently and let them know THEY CAN DO IT.
    I'm always here for you, mama 🙂
    XOXO
    My recent post Mommy Monday #BlogHop {83}

    • MrsTee Post author

      XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
      Thanks Lovie! Hubby has stopped me a few times or else I would have so been there! I think you should definitely let her do it. I know as a child my Grandmother’s fears became my own and stopped me from doing a lot of things that I am now trying to do and ‘catch up’ with. we can always be protective and cautious but letting them find the way to their dreams is definitely important. Thank You So Much!! I\’m here for you too!

  • prayloveblog

    ohhhhh my goodnessss you just dropped on me things I havent even considered yet!! *lip trembles* I need to print and save this bad boy for when my little goes off to college I feel like I will def need this

  • alyssa

    I remember how hard it was on my mom when she dropped me off at college and helped me move in. It's got to be so insane to see your children grow up so fast.

  • Nina

    Oh my gosh, this makes me realize how hard it will be to send my baby (who is still several years away from kindergarten) away to school. Being the grown up is definitely tough, but you're doing a great job, and it sounds like your son is too.
    My recent post Boys Can Wear Hearts Too

    • MrsTee Post author

      It is hard but the end result makes it so worth it. Yes Nina! Sometimes this \’grown up\’ thing is not all I was hoping for when I was 5…LOL Thanks so much!

  • kp3reloaded

    This is very sweet! I'm not a parent yet, but I can definitely understand that feeling when your children go off to college, it makes me appreciate my parents and their encouraging words in similar situations. 🙂

  • MJL

    I am so not ready for this stage of life! I love that your son still calls you and knows you are there for him no matter what. That shows you how much he loves you and the impact you have on his life. One more thing… Son in college? You look like you could be his classmate! Not a crack in sight. LOL. Stay strong mama.
    My recent post Our Project 52: Guilty Pleasure

    • MrsTee Post author

      Girl I’m not either but there’s no skips…LOL Yes, I am so happy that we still have a relationship where he knows he can call anytime about anything. Thank God! Haha! Yes he is a Freshman…wow really? Thanks so much for THAT – you just made my day! Thank you so much 🙂

  • Crystal

    Oh goodness, yes, yes and yes! I can definitely relate to this post. While I don't have one in college, I have one that will start Kindergarten this year and I am having a difficult time with it. And every time I drop him off at Pre-K I want to turn around and go get him! But you are right, we have to be the parent in these situations, no matter how hard. Great post! Thank you for sharing.
    My recent post {Texas Tuesday // Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo}

    • MrsTee Post author

      You’re so welcome! Thank YOU for coming by and giving such amazing words of encouragement. God’s Grace is sufficient in all things and all situations You’ve Got This! 😀

  • Sonya

    I can’t imagine how much you guys miss each other. My transition to college was pretty smooth even though I was a few states away from home. I think eating was probably my biggest problem though. There were a lot of times that I was hungry. It was really tough adjusting to cafeteria food. I think I took Alka-Seltzer almost everyday to settle my stomach. Most of my meals were waffles with strawberries on top. Once I transitioned to eating lots of salads it helped me out a lot. I always loved getting care packages from my mom filled with food. She would send me Almond Joys and I loved eating them with beef ramen noodles. I sounds gross now but it hit the spot then…lol.

    • MrsTee Post author

      It is so hard some days Sonya. I had him when I was 18 and didn’t marry until he was 6 so we kinda grew up a bit tougher and he was always my friend. Girl has College food gotten that bad??? When I went to school I loved our cafe food and even bought it and took it home (I commuted). The Teenager says the food is so bad he can never eat it before a class or he wouldn’t make the class…LOL So now we send him ramen noodles, sandwich meat, bread, etc. Hopefully that helps him. I haven’t sent any care packages yet but that is a great idea!

  • kimberlybolden

    Hey Tiffany,
    Love your transparency in this post. I am sure you have done an awesome job caring and raising your son. Do not see this season as one where you let him go but as one where you let him grow. He will always be your baby but now a more mature version of himself.

  • anallievent

    You are looking good in that pic! And your son is so cute! My kids are beyond college. Where did the time go? The ones that are not married yet come home just about every weekend, bringing that boyfriend/girlfriend home, too. It's heartwarming that they still like to hang out with their mom and dad. I well remember parenting through those college years. It's difficult at times, but you'll make it. Love this story!
    My recent post I Was Almost Carded

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks Alli!! Thank you again 🙂 Oh I love that they come home every weekend…that\’s so great! Yes, that means you must be the cool parents for sure 🙂 Thank you so much for the encouragement and for coming by!

    • MrsTee Post author

      Oh trust me I know Kindergarten can be doozy too (my youngest Girlie is in Kindergarten) and those moments are definitely hard to have restraint in. Thanks so much for coming by! We all do our best and that is all we can do 😀

  • sunshine494

    First off you look great! You look like you could be his sister! I don't know the feeling, but I know how it was for my mom. She is a friend, but she doesn't play that either lol. Old school is what she is. It is a great thing though, when I left the house I got to know and understand me more.

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks Lovie!! LOL…we get that sometimes and he hates it! I’ll take it while it lasts…Yeah, I am kinda old school to. Play with a puppy kinda idea but there are times on the inside I just don’t wanna be the grown up…LOL Yes, I hope he is getting that experience as well. Thanks so much for coming by – you made my morning 🙂