I was sitting on my couch the other day watching my son make an utter mess and then heard myself tell him if he didn’t clean it up his birthday may not be as awesome as he wants it. Who have I become? I used to listen to my Aunts encourage my cousins and even myself to be good with an upcoming Holiday or Birthday as the incentive and I promised myself I would never do that. Well here I am. Guess what – it works. I even thought up a few other signs that I’m Not the Mom I thought I would be… 10 to be exact.
1. I can dose a Meds dropper by the light of my phone and never wake my sleeping patient
Let’s face it. Those middle of the night medicine doses are not fun. I hate getting up and I hate waking up my Kiddie. Why? Usually because once i wake them up they stay up for at least the next hour. So what have I done? I have become skilled at using as little light as possible (most times the flashlight on my phone) to dose and medicate said Kiddie without them ever knowing. It’s a skill and I’m proud to have it.
2. ‘We’ll See’ has become my standard reply to ALL request. No commitment = no disappointment
I learned when my oldest was about 3 that saying yes usually meant I was basically signing my soul away to a child because if I ever had to take that word back it was a complete devastation. The world was ending and I was the worse mom ever.
So how have I fixed this dilemma with my 3 younger Kiddies? Now when I am faced with the never ending Can We Go? Can We Have? or Can We Get? requests instead of committing to a Yes. I answer: We’ll See. This gives me time to consider, plan and if necessary deny said requests.
My Kiddies are so used to it now that when their younger brother asked what “We’ll See” means recently (he’s 3) my Girlies told him: “It usually means no but sometimes she surprises us”
Yup. I’m a genius. I know. 🙂
3. Bribery is NOT beneath me
Never say never. Growing up I said I would never ‘bribe’ my children to be good. Listen, that is truly a beautiful thought. That your children will always be good simply because you want them to but the reality: they won’t. My Kiddies are pretty well behaved but there are times when the situation requires a bribe.
That’s right requires. When I’m in public, a professional setting or I know I need them to cooperate I have been known to negotiate the behavior I need. Whether that is a promise of a Happy Meal, Ice Cream or small toy, bribery – I have learned – is not beneath me.
4. Activity wait times are the closest thing I get to ‘me time’
So I try to keep my Kiddies as active and busy as possible but it’s not only for their benefit. Nope. I have an ulterior motive. It gives me bit of ‘me time’. That hour or so that I spend waiting in the little areas designated for parents. That’s time I get to think, read, blog or even play a game without interruption. It’s my golden time and I love it.
5. Cleaning up may sometimes include a trip to the trash for a few toys.
You’ve done it too. You know you have. Those toys that are broken, don’t seem to play anymore or have even been forgotten. You have a mini ‘clean up‘ and suddenly they disappear.
I’ve done it and I’m not ashamed. My Kiddies have so many toys that I know they don’t even notice when I have one of my clean up moments. The toys that are good enough to pass on I sneak to the car and donate but the ones that are broken or simply not worth the rescue they say hello to the trash-man the next day.
6. Some toys don’t deserve new batteries
Speaking of toys. There are some toys that once the ‘batteries included’ give out their last bit of juice I honestly don’t think they deserve new ones. I have had this one toy that only made it’s creepy laughing sound when I was alone at night and while I had no idea where it was. So when the battery finally died and my Kiddies asked me to replace them…I didn’t have it – and I never planned on getting it. That toy just didn’t deserve it.
7. Some places are closed according to Momma’s mood about going there
Okay so this may be a bit of a white lie moment. I know. Still, let me ask: have you ever been warm, content and happy in your PJs and just ready to relax and have your Kiddies request something that would mean getting dressed and actually going outside? Or even on your way home and suddenly they want to go get whatever from wherever? Yet home is in view and all you want is your bed?
These are the times when certain business hours may change slightly according to my mood. Yes, McDonald’s has been closed at 1:25pm and No, Toys R Us is not always open on a Saturday. Why? because I don’t want to go there and being closed usually means less persistence in the request to go.
Fault me if you will. #SorryNotSorry
8. I have a set of Apps designed specifically for distraction
When in doubt App them out. Yup, I am that mom. The one who has a Kiddie begging to leave from boredom during one of my many errands or appointments who hands over her phone with the latest and greatest Kiddie distraction App. Why? Because it works. Nuff said.
9. I’m not above using upcoming birthdays and holidays as ‘incentive’ for good behavior
Like I stated in the beginning, I have been know to remind my Kiddies that there is a Holiday or Birthday coming up that they may want to be on their best behavior for to make sure all their wishes come true.
Does this make me a bad person or mother? I don’t think so. Deep down they know I will still make it all they want it to be but that slight possibility that throwing that next piece of candy may put those dreams at risk…yeah that works.
10. The bathroom has become my sanctuary
There was a time when going to bathroom was a quick process and I was always rushing to get back to a baby, a task or a chore. No more. Now a trip to the bathroom is about the only time I get to think my own thoughts. I sneak in there, close the door and find my bit of escape and sanctuary even if it only lasts for about 10 minutes and ends with little fingers under the door. They’re my moments and I treasure them.
What number can you relate to?
This Post was written as part of the
Lifestyle Blogger, Brand Ambassador, YouTuber & Media Influencer
Tiffany is the ‘ Tee’ behind TheMrsTee - a Lifestyle Blog created as a place to share her love of all things Faith, Family, Fashion, Food, Fun, Tech & Travel. Tiffany has established her influence within both the Blogging & Vlogging Communities. As a Brand Ambassador, Tiffany has the opportunity to promote and support the brands she loves the most with her own unique perspective. Tiffany has extended her presence beyond her URL to Television as a Panelist for the MomsEveryday TV Show for 2 Seasons and to the stage as a Cast Member of the Finale Season of The Listen To Your Mother Show. A 2016 BlogHer VOTY Award Honoree, Contributing Author with Modern Social f/k/a iBlog Magazine and BlogHer. Growing herself as a Brand and Influencer are always at the center of Tiffany’s passion.
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