Please be patient with me
God is Not through with me yet
When God gets through with me
when God gets through with me
I shall come forth,
I shall come forth as pure gold
If you should see me
and I’m not walking right
if you can hear me and I’m not talking right
God is not through with me
When He get’s through with me
I’ll be everything that He wants me to be
By James Cleveland
This is a song I used to sing as a child of around 5 or 6. I remember when I sang it all the adults would Ooooh and Aaaah and say “Oh how sweet”. There were times I would even feel emotions that as a child I wasn’t that sure of and would end up in tears by the end of the song. When I think of this song now, as an adult, the words touch me so deeply and in such a personal level. That little girl who sang it so many years ago had no idea of the different things she would go through in life and where she would end up some thirty years later. She could never have imagined exactly how much patience she would have needed not only from people but from God Himself. In her mind she always thought she would serve God and God alone no matter what and without question or fault. Never leaving the path set before her. Never straying from her destiny.
Yet I did leave the path, I rebelled I left the church, left my calling, my ministry. I tried to be that other girl. The one who didn’t have to worry about being a good example or keeping up the facade of her Preacher’s Kid image. Except it didn’t work. I stood out like an extra large pink elephant. So I came back, like the prodigal son I returned but I didn’t get the party and gifts the father in the scriptures was able to extend. Instead, there was a mixture of judgment and side glances. I felt as if coming back was something I had to fight for. Even though I felt the forgiveness of God was given and sealed it was the forgiveness of my ‘audience‘ that I felt I had to work for or somehow earn.
You see in the song, the writer is addressing the listener and asking them to be patient with him because God is still working on him but once God is through He will come forth as ‘pure gold’. These listeners, the ‘audience‘ of our lives can have a hard time being patient with us. It’s a lot to ask of them. There are times when they forget that they too had struggles and set backs. They forget they weren’t always at the ‘pure gold’ stage of their process and because of this forgetfulness they weren’t always able to extend the patience we need. I admit it took me a long time to realize that the judgment I was feeling from my audience wasn’t always actually coming from a place of judgment. There were times when it came from places of hurt or struggle within their own lives. Once I realized that, my need to obtain their acceptance lessened and my ability to simply move on in the forgiveness of God became easier.
I stopped trying to please the audience and began focusing on pleasing God. I’m striving towards His perfection and living my life according to His will everyday. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m also honest with myself and know that I mess up. Since being that little girl, I have tested God’s patience as well as that of the ‘audience’ of my life with my many slip-ups and mistakes. Even since since my ‘prodigal return’ there have been times where I’ve wondered where I wanted to be in the Kingdom. Was I worthy of my calling? Was I fit to be a carrier of the gospel? Who was I to be a minister to others? Those were the times that led me to stagnation in my faith. Yet I’ve always been lifted up by God’s love and restored by his forgiveness showing me that it was if He called me to do something he would also qualify me to do it. (2 Corinthians 3:5-6).
So even now, when I still test it patience with my questions of How? When? Where? How do you want me to do this? When can I fit in the time? Where does my ministry go from here? God’s patience doesn’t where thin, instead he embraces me with his love and guides me to His word for answers and guidance. He leads me back to the comfort of knowing He will never leave me and always be there and I know I can always ask Him simply to…
Please Be Patient With Me