A Choice of Words…


MayTheBestWordWin

 

Did you know making the simple choice between two words could have the power to change someone’s entire day?  There is even a possibility you could impact them emotionally?  An extra moment of effort in your choice of words could change the impact a word can have on the person you are speaking that may last a lifetime.  I saw the power of my words in action just the other day through one of my friends and a comment I thought I was a light one.

My friend and I were working on something together, I was totally flustered and scattered.  I was trying to look for a solution to a problem when my friend made a suggestion that would save me not only time but a lot of worry too.  Mind you my ‘friend’ is only 6!  I was so grateful that I immediately thanked her and told her how smart she was for her idea.  I looked up from what I was doing after I heard a short gasp.  She had her hand to her chest and was sitting there with her mouth wide open.  I was surprised by her reaction and wondered if something was wrong.

What’s wrong?

“You just called me smart…”

Yes, you are.  You thought of something that

Ms.  Tiffany didn’t and it really helped me out.  

Thank you and it was very smart of you.

~Wide Eyes~

What’s the matter…?

“I think it’s awesome you called me smart

My brother and sister call me stupid all the time

and I was starting to believe them.”

When she told me this I had such a mix of emotions.  For one I couldn’t believe her ability to express herself so clearly (another sign of how smart she really is).  I was also shocked that my short phrase of praise was making such an impact.

I know some of you may be wondering whether her statement about her siblings calling her stupid surprised me.  It honestly didn’t.  I know from having 2 younger sisters as well as a lot of older cousins that kids can be mean.  I also realize at times they say things without even knowing how it can hurt the other person.  I don’t feel her siblings should have said these things but I also know it is not out of the ordinary.

The experience with my friend made me think on how often my choice of words to strangers, friends, or family may have left the wrong impression without thought or even conscious intent of being mean but simply because I didn’t think.  Even in this situation, I didn’t consciously think “I want to compliment her” it was a reaction to the situation.  Yet, how often do our reactions result in a negative comment instead of a positive one?  If we took a few extra moments could we not make a choice and be sure our words are positive ones?

 

 

 

A Pause…

What would happen if we took that extra second

to make a choice of our words?  

Instead of talking down to someone we lift them up,

instead of judging we encourage or instead or criticizing we support?  

Let’s all try just a little bit more to make a choice of our words…

We never know who’s day we may change for the better.

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Find MrsTee

TheMrsTee

Lifestyle Blogger, Brand Ambassador, YouTuber & Media Influencer at TheMrsTee
Tiffany is the ‘ Tee’ behind TheMrsTee - a Lifestyle Blog created as a place to share her love of all things Faith, Family, Fashion, Food, Fun, Tech & Travel. Tiffany has established her influence within both the Blogging & Vlogging Communities. As a Brand Ambassador, Tiffany has the opportunity to promote and support the brands she loves the most with her own unique perspective. Tiffany has extended her presence beyond her URL to Television as a Panelist for the MomsEveryday TV Show for 2 Seasons and to the stage as a Cast Member of the Finale Season of The Listen To Your Mother Show. A 2016 BlogHer VOTY Award Honoree, Contributing Author with Modern Social f/k/a iBlog Magazine and BlogHer. Growing herself as a Brand and Influencer are always at the center of Tiffany’s passion.
Find MrsTee

About TheMrsTee

Tiffany is the ‘ Tee’ behind TheMrsTee - a Lifestyle Blog created as a place to share her love of all things Faith, Family, Fashion, Food, Fun, Tech & Travel. Tiffany has established her influence within both the Blogging & Vlogging Communities. As a Brand Ambassador, Tiffany has the opportunity to promote and support the brands she loves the most with her own unique perspective. Tiffany has extended her presence beyond her URL to Television as a Panelist for the MomsEveryday TV Show for 2 Seasons and to the stage as a Cast Member of the Finale Season of The Listen To Your Mother Show. A 2016 BlogHer VOTY Award Honoree, Contributing Author with Modern Social f/k/a iBlog Magazine and BlogHer. Growing herself as a Brand and Influencer are always at the center of Tiffany’s passion.


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47 thoughts on “A Choice of Words…

  • craftybegonia1

    Oh, you are so very welcome, my pleasure! It is good that you are writing such posts, verbal abuse has many shades and sometimes painful results! By the way, I came to visit via The SITS Girls. Happy SITS Day!
    My recent post Benton the Doxie Dude

  • Chris Carter

    Ah…. such a beautiful moment to be had by you two. Words are powerful indeed. I love your message here!! I will absolutely take it to my heart. We must use intention with every single word that comes out of our mouths…

    They have power. More than we really know…

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thank you…I was so touched and happy that I was able to learn something while having a positive impact on my little friend 🙂 I happy you can take something away from our story….
      Thanks for coming by!

  • craftybegonia1

    Very poignant and true! When we lived in Washington sate, we knew a family with two sweet girls, the father was very mean-mouthed toward them, especially the oldest, and it nearly destroyed her, so I know what you are saying is absolutely true.

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thank you…ye, I think sometimes Adults don\’t realize a quick spoken word in anger can leave a permanent impact on a child into their adult life.
      Thank you so much for coming by and visiting with me a bit today! I am truly grateful 🙂

  • AwesomelyOZ

    This is very true – sometimes we can empower someone by saying something nice. It takes seconds to make that conscious choice to say something positive versus a negative critique. Sometimes we say things with no ill intentions but that can be enough to make someone feel small. Great post and happy SITS day MrsTee! -Iva
    My recent post The Irrationality of Irrational Anger

  • Delaney Sanders

    I have soon to be step kids, and I really need to encourage them more. I am book marking your blog. And happy SITS day, sweetie.
    My recent post Friday Fashion January 17

  • theseanamethod

    wow – I love this post! It hurts my heart that your little SMART friend had been listening to those calling her stupid – even though they were probably just randomly tossed teases/criticisms. What a wonderful experience to have been part of that blessing. You've got me thinking today for sure… word choice!!

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks Seana…it hurt mine as well. To hear her say she started to believe it, I was so happy that we both learned something that day-the simple power in a choice of words!
      Thank you for coming by and hanging with me a bit.. 🙂

  • sjskill

    Kids can be cruel and kind both. Being there for children is so important. Thanks for taking the time to help a child. As a high school teacher I see cruelty and kindness both. It is harder to see the cruelty because it is more subtle and sneaky. Enjoy your SITS Day.
    My recent post Vertigo aka BPPV

    • MrsTee Post author

      So true. At times it may be intentional and the sad thing is at times it may be meant in play without realizing the impact of their words in the long term. It is very hard to see but luckily so easy to counteract with a simply Choice of Words 🙂
      Thank You for coming by to hang out with me today, you helped make my SITS Day a great one!

  • The Vanilla Housewife

    I just want to give your friend a hug! This reminds me of a story my husband told me about when he was young. His brothers and sisters often joked that he was adopted because he looked different from them and he believed them each time. Not that there's anything wrong about being adopted but to be teased about it when you are a child can create an impact to how they will be when they grow up. That joke has stayed with my husband until now and I can see that there is still pain in him. We really need to help our kids learn to speak kindly to everybody.
    Great post!

    • MrsTee Post author

      Aww shucks! I’m hugging ya right back! xoxo
      Yes, teasing at times can take on a life of it’s own within a child’s heart and definitely leave a lasting impact. I was so happy to know that even a passing comment helped repair some of what she was feeling as a result of her teasing…
      Thanks Lovie! 😀

    • MrsTee Post author

      Isn’t it? As adults I think we can forget that our words can be so powerful especially with children…
      Thanks again for your support Michelle, it truly means a lot!

  • Bev

    Oh, poor little thing starting to believe she was stupid! I'm glad your words were able to have a positive impact on her. We definitely need to be careful about the words we choose to use, you never know what type of impact they will have. Happy SITS day!
    My recent post Wait, I didn’t tell you this isn’t my original head?

    • MrsTee Post author

      Unfortunately yes, and I\’m certain that wasn\’t her siblings true intent. Even in teasing our words can have impact. She taught me a great lesson that day. Thank you so much for coming to visit me today!

  • jaws4242

    So true! What an awesome story. I remember learning in a seminar a long time ago about substituting the word 'but' with 'and' and how much more positive that can be. For example "this chicken you made is good, BUT I'd like to try it with more tomatoes" vs. "this chicken you made is good, AND I'd like to try it with more tomatoes" — minor thing but impactful.

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thank you…yes that is exactly what I mean! One simple word choice can diffuse or ignite a situation or a person\’s defenses. Thanks so much for coming by today!

  • corlie

    Very very true! Once said, something cannot be unsaid and if it was mean and hurtful or even just said without thinking, the hurt that words cause is not easily erased. Thanks for sharing! I am visiting from SITS 🙂
    Corlie
    My recent post Red is the colour of…

  • lisabr0wndesign

    Wow – amazing how that one word had such a big impact! It almost brought tears to my eyes that she said she was starting to believe her siblings. Sometimes I need that reminder to always bring people up. 🙂

    (Stopping by from Weekend Showcase)

    • MrsTee Post author

      When it happened it was all I could do not to show TOO much of a reaction. I didn’t want to put her off or make her shut down. I wasn’t shocked that they said it but shocked at her expression of how it made her feel. It’s amazing how much impact a sibling can have isn’t it?

  • MaMadeDiaries

    I love this! It's amazing how much it meant to her and I'm so glad you could give her that moment. It's funny how we don't always think about the smallest things like the simple choice of words we make every second and what an impact they can have, negative or positive.
    My recent post Fantastic Friday Link Up #3!

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thanks! I think she taught me more of a lesson than anything else. I said it without much thought and then to see the impact it had on her was amazing. From that day I have been trying to put a lot more thought into my choice of words.

  • Beth

    I'm in corporate training and I've done this teambuilding exercise before about word choice. People pair up and have to plan a vacation together. The first round, they have to start every suggestion with "Yes, BUT…" People end up getting really frustrated because every suggestion is answered with, "Yes, but…" The second round, they start every suggestion with, "Yes, AND…" People always comment on how much farther they got in their planning and how much easier the conversation was. The whole idea was that even a small word can make a big difference, and positive words make things so much easier. This post reminded me of that exercise and the power even a small word choice can have.
    My recent post Parenting: You’re Doing It Wrong

  • Lauren

    What an advanced and articulate child! That story both breaks and warms my heart. Words do matter and that's why I try not to use the terms good or bad when praising or disciplining bc it's the behavior not the child. I think that alone is hard for a kid to understand .

    • MrsTee Post author

      I was impressed by her ability to express herself too. For a 6 year old I thought it was amazing. It was truly a wake up call for me and I also learned that positive reinforcement can mean so much more than I may think at the moment.

    • MrsTee Post author

      Thank you. It can be hard sometimes to stay aware but I think it is completely worth it to be sure our Kiddies are confident and aware of how their words can impact those around them as well.

  • Jen

    This is true especially for little kids, I am living proof of this lol and it's why I always make sure I talk to my 4 year old niece about how smart she could be even in the smallest situations. Like when she wants me to beat a video game for her instead of saying omg this is so stupid, I tell her you can do it turtle I believe in you keep trying until you get it. She eventually wins and then I'm like you see what did I tell you? So now when she tells me she can't do it, I tell her how many times have you told me this and then you did it? Go do it again… lol

    • MrsTee Post author

      You’re so right! This one situation gave me such a different view on how kids absorb the words that are spoken to them even by other kids. I have made a big effort since this time to choose my words better and to help my Kiddies choose how they speak to each other better as well.

      My Kiddies do the same thing with video games and I always tell them to try because I know they can do it. And they usually do! 😀