“If Not Now . . . Then When?” Five words loaded with meaning. I’m a planner. It’s just who I am. I need order, reasons, and goals. Yet at times this need for control – because yeah, I know that’s what it really is – leads to missing out on life, opportunities, and experiences. The things that you should simply do because they’re worth doing. As I walked up to the tattoo booth The All American Tattoo Convention a few days ago I knew the why behind my this ink and the one it would pair with. To remind and encourage me in the times when I may forget to do it myself.
Find Meaning
Tattoos aren’t something I take lightly. In my life, tattoos were always seen as a sin. Point Blank – PERIOD. To make a permanent mark on your body was simply not allowed or accepted. Then I endured struggle, lived life a bit and made a choice. I wanted a way to mark moments, memories and meanings in a permanent way. A way that could act as a reminder to where I was or even who I was in a specific moment.
I was 23 when I got my first tattoo. In true planner nature, I researched the shop and the artist I wanted to use. I knew the price, had my design in mind and was ready to do this. Except for one thing. I knew that once I got this tattoo there would be no turning back. My Grandmother, church family and probably just about anyone who knew me would make judgments. Many based on their own rules but judgments just the same. Yet despite this, I decided I was willing to take the sting and still do something that I felt was right for me.
I knew that once I got this tattoo there would be no turning back.
My first tattoo is one I chose because of where I was at that point in my life. I was newly in love, feeling a bit rebellious and finally finding my true path. So I picked a design with a meaning for me right within that moment. Now I must confess I went with the trend of the time when it came to placement – the lower back. That is probably my lone regret yet somehow I think it adds to the meaning. It marks the time not only in my life but in time.
After that first tattoo, I knew it would not be my last. I didn’t feel the pain of the process but instead a release. Through each line drawn, I was able to release a bit of emotion behind that tattoo. It was invigorating and in many ways therapeutic.
Know Your Why
I remember when my oldest son told me he wanted a tattoo. He was 16. Obviously, there was no way I could really tell him no and not become the biggest mom hypocrite ever. Yet I didn’t want him to jump into something permanent with temporary meaning.
So instead of no I told him not now. Delayed but not denied right? I told him to wait until at least 18. To think on the why behind his tattoo, find a design that would hold that why and it’s meaning for a lifetime, not just a moment. I told him to be sure whatever he picked it was true to who he would be always not just who he was right now.
. . .find a design that would hold that why and it’s meaning for a lifetime, not just a moment.
5 years later I went with him to the tattoo shop. Over those years he’d come to me with pictures, drawings and many ideas for the perfect tat. Some I flat out said were crazy others he dismissed on his own. Yet on this day, we both walked in knowing this was the one. It was a visual representation of his heritage, who he was and who he wanted to be as a person, a man and a human all in one tat. It was kind awesome and we both knew it.
As I sat there watching him get his first I thought about my now 6 tattoos. Yep over those nearly 15 years, I’d gotten six more tattoos of my own. All with meaning and my own why. I thought about the stigma they seemed to bring years ago but the freedom I see in having them now. I even thought back on the feeling of fear that rushed through me the first time my Grandmother saw my tattoo.
The wash of disappointment and a bit of judgment that went over her face. The courage it had to tell her it didn’t matter because this was something I had to decide on my own. The empowerment that came when I did what I knew was right for me without worrying how wrong it would feel to others. I looked at my son and instead of disappointment or judgment, I felt pride.
The Final Two – I Think
At this year’s All American Tattoo Convention I got what I think maybe my final two tattoos. Numbers 7 and 8. They are two parts of the same quote. One is a reminder for me to stray from my plans a bit and enjoy the moments in life as they come. Here’s the second one: “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?”.
This is actually the first part of that other tattoo. They are both by a man named Hillel The Elder. You can learn about who he is here. What I want to share is what this quote is to me. This half of the quote is a reminder to me who tends to stay in her head too much. The me who lingers in the deep end of self-doubt a bit too often and allows her lack of confidence to hinder her ability to push forward.
So now every time I feel that sense of am I worthy I can simply look at my own skin and get that gentle reminder that if I don’t believe it no one else will.
My Tattoo Tips
Now although my tattoo journey has been one nearly 20 years now it is one I’ve learned lessons from none the less. Lessons I am always willing to share. So here they are, a few of my tattoo tips for first-timers or old pros.
One of the first things I do when I’m getting a new tattoo is to take a pic of them before. After all, it will never be the same again, right?
Take your time. -Tattoo conventions normally have a flat ticket rate for an entire day. -Walk around. -Look at their portfolios. Talk to them. Be clear with what you want and what you expect.
Think about how each tattoo will relate to each other in style, meaning, and placement. I mean, of course, this could be a bit of the planner in me creeping out – who knows?
The All American Tattoo Convention
The All American Tattoo Convention takes place in Fayetteville every year in April. This was it’s the third year. The Convention is hosted by The All American Tattoo Company. Owners Ryan and Nicole Harrell saw this as a way to bring together a community of artist to not only spotlight their talent but the people who love it as well.
Each year Ryan and Nicole select a non-profit organization to donate a portion of the convention’s proceeds to. Did you know that over 80% of The All American Tattoo Convention’s customer base is military?
We are the daughters, granddaughters, grandsons, cousins to active duty personnel and serve a customer base that is over 80% military. For this reason, we want to give back and help soldiers suffering from the long term effects of PTSD and other combat-related injuries. A portion of the proceeds from this event will be donated directly to our selected non-profit organizations to help our service member in their transition from war to homelife.
Ryan & Nicole Harrell
What was [or will be] your first tattoo?
“Believe in yourself, your passions, and your dreams. Your voice is unique – build on that. Embrace what is different about you and make it your greatest asset!”
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