Just a few of the opinions I’ve heard about how I responded to conflict throughout my life followed by a few of my standard replies.

Yet recently I realized my replies are actually closer to lies. You read it right. A lie is told to deceive. I’ve given the above replies to deceive people as to why I don’t do conflict.

It isn’t because I’m not confrontational. If you ask my grandmother you’d find out as a kid all I did was conflict. I questioned everything and everyone. Always had a thought or opinion I simply had to express. A word I had to say no matter what.

It isn’t because it’s not worth it. I believe in defending myself and setting a standard for how people treat and respect me.

It isn’t always to protect my energy because let’s face it – some people have earned the energy they receive simply by way of the energy they give.

It isn’t even because words don’t hurt. Despite the old saying – they do. They hurt and they damage. At times leaving scars new words can’t even heal.

Still. Despite the lies, I’ve told it wasn’t until my 20s that I began to simply remain silent. I began to realize all my words didn’t need to be heard. My last or my first thought wouldn’t always solve the problem.

No, I didn’t suddenly become a better person or have an epiphany. God checked me. Yep. Simple as that. One day I was prepping the ultimate comeback with words I knew would cut deep and last long when God asked me why.

Why did I feel it was necessary to fight my battles in this way? Now y’all know I had every reason and justification ready. Including my famous ‘being Christian doesn’t mean being weak‘ or ‘God didn’t make me a doormat simply because I’m saved‘.

Yes. I said it directly to Him. It’s allowed. God heard me. He listened as I debated my cause and right to defend myself and my beliefs at all costs – even if that price was someone else’s joy or peace.

He waited.

Waited for me to get it all out.

Then He spoke.

God reminded me my battles weren’t mine. They were His. My weapons were not carnal. He took me back to His words of protection where He promised to always halt the prosperity of any weapons formed against me. He told me as His child I didn’t need to take on every battle because His son has already secured the victory of the entire war.

In those moments I realized I’d been doing it all wrong. I’d focused all my energy on fighting and defending myself when God really wanted me to focus on the peace beyond the battles.

So I listened. I shut my mouth and listened. Every word spoken against me doesn’t need to be given a reply. Every act done in anger, malice, or even ignorance doesn’t require my attention. They are mere battles in a war I’ve already won simply because of who my God is.

So now when the attacks come – they didn’t stop simply because I stopped – but when they come I remind myself I have new weapons at my ready.

These are the weapons I hold within my armory. The tools I have at my side to make room for my blessings, conquer hatred, declare victory, and even confuse my enemies.

When they expect reaction instead I wait. I wait on the one who already knows the outcome and the true purpose of the attack.

I pray for guidance, confidence, and peace in knowing no matter what the true motive my good is always His plan for the end.

I praise Him for the blessings seen and unseen knowing even in the bad He can still grant my victory.

I worship Him simply for being who He is in my life and through me.

So yeah, there are times when I fall back to those false reasons the lies for why I don’t fight battles the way many expect but it’s then I remind myself . . .

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