Lately I find myself asking “Why can’t I remember?” For maybe the last month and a half or so I’ve noticed that I’ve been having some short-term memory issues. I know that I have some left over Mommy brain from the 4 Kiddies and have always had to write “To Do” notes but I’m talking about some major short-term differences. I could be sitting down and think to myself “ok I need to go put those clothes in the dryer” by the time I would get up and walk through the kitchen to the laundry room…I’m at a total loss to why I was standing there. I’m not saying a little bit of confusion I mean a total blank of why I even got up. Or I could be typing/speaking a sentence and then just stop mid line and not know where I was going with it. It was really getting to the point of me being scared.
I have written a post about my migraines and the history I had with trying different medications, it wasn’t an easy situation for me or my family. So the first thing I did when I started experiencing these weird symptoms was grab my bottles and look up the side effects because fortunately I did remember that memory loss was one of the possible side effects the neurologist mentioned when she first prescribed my current medication. Once I checked, my suspicions were confirmed. I had a Neurology appointment coming up so I made an alert in my phone not to forget to ask her about it.
The reason the whole memory loss situation was so scary for me is well for one I have 1 Teenager and 3 Kiddies, so forgetting things in milliseconds is not exactly something that lends to my daily functionality. Another reason is because I have watched close family members suffer with the effects of Alzheimer’s and Dementia and it wasn’t a pretty thing to watch. It was sad. To watch someone you loved slowly forget how to function in their day-to-day and then eventually get to a point where they have forgotten you. It was heartbreaking. I needed to know that it was my medication and not something more serious causing the symptoms I was experiencing.
I mentioned my fears to my Hubby and in true form he said “there was nothing to worry about until there was something to worry about.” He is always the one who helps me keep my sanity during those ‘in the mean time‘ times…or else I would have drove myself crazy worrying about it right up until the day of my appointment.
My appointment was this past Friday. I got there and not only did my day start as a day set up to annoy me beginning with having a 10 o’clock appointment and not being seen until 11:30 but I also was told that my blood pressure was high and they ended up taking it 3 times before they were satisfied with the results. I’m almost sure my waiting for over an hour didn’t help it. I ended up writing a post about that experience as well.
So, once I got past all of the aggravation, I finally saw the doctor. I barely gave her time to review anything else before I told her about the short-term memory loss and what had been going on. She asked if the medication was working for the migraines. I told her yes. It had actually worked wonders on my migraines. The frequency was down significantly and I rarely had a true ‘event‘ anymore. Yet I didn’t think I could continue with it if the memory loss were to get any worse. She agreed and said that she would lower my dosage and monitor that impact for the next month. If the memory loss lessened we would just stick with the lower dosage. If it had no impact she would switch me to a different medication entirely. Yet, if my migraines returned in frequency or intensity she would have to consider changing the medication because that would indicate I couldn’t tolerate the lower dosage.
As of today, I don’t think I can tolerate the changes. I have had a migraine everyday since Friday. For those of your who have migraines you know that is torture. Especially if you have experienced a period of extended relief. I also don’t notice any change in my memory. I’m sure it is simply too soon for that part. Still I’m going to be calling her later this week to let her know that the migraines have returned (with a vengeance) and I need something different to be done…soon.
Returning to this place of suffering, of pain and almost inability to function is very disheartening to say the least. I was on my medication for almost a year with great success and to wake up with a piercing pain in my head on a daily basis is not something I can do with Kiddies wanting their Momma. Still I also need to wake up and remember what I have to do that day. So I guess this is another detour on this journey. I know God will not let me take it alone. Yet there are moments I wonder, why? Why do I have these migraines at all and now on top of that…why can’t I remember?
Have you ever had unexpected medical setbacks?
How did you deal with them? Did you tell your family?