Everyone wants to have friends. It’s a natural part of who we are. Coming to the place where you realize everyone is not your friend can be difficult especially when you’re a child.

Tender Heart

I often see pieces of my own personality within my children. There are times when raising a child who is just like you can be scary. My youngest daughter is that child. We have so many traits in common it can be both amusing and challenging at times. It also offers me a unique insight into what she’s going through.

From the time she was born, my Baby Girlie has been super sensitive to others feelings. She can tell when you’re upset, need a hug or just a bit of comfort. Her sensitivity to your feelings at times comes at the cost of her own.

As she’s grown, I’ve watched her claim everyone as her friend. Whether she met you yesterday or 5 minutes ago – you’re her newest friend. As her mom, this can be sad to watch because unfortunately, everyone is not as caring and open to friendship as she is. I keep telling her everyone is not your friend.

Friends

Everyone isn’t meant to be your friend. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard myself saying this after she’s been hurt when someone mistreated her, used her or simply ignored her.

Teaching her it’s okay to be selective in choosing friendships and getting her to understand she isn’t being mean has been a constant struggle.

To her, everyone deserves a friend and as a person whose heart is so open to others, she just can’t grasp why they wouldn’t want to be her friend. This is hard to witness and painful for her to experience.

Protect Your Heart

Remember when I said my daughter and I are similar? I have been her. I wanted to be everyone’s friend and give each person the benefit of the doubt and the chance to be friends. With time, past hurts and unfortunately many broken friendships I’ve learned to be picky with those I offer my friendship.

Part of protecting your heart is knowing who deserves access to it.

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Quality Not Quantity

It’s not how many friends you have but the quality of the ones you choose. I’m trying to teach this lesson to my fellow tender-hearted daughter without destroying her natural tendency to love with all of who she is. I don’t want her to lose that because it’s a gift but instead, I want her to learn how to protect it and teach others how valuable her friendship truly is.

It’s not how many friends you have but the quality of the ones you choose.

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Never having someone who really got how sensitive I was caused me to scar from the inevitable hurt that sensitivity brought to me. I grew into someone who was almost fearful to offer my friendship. Fearful it would be rejected, taken for granted, misused or even abused.

That’s Ok!

The other day my daughter cheerfully approached a girl she told me was her friend. I watched as she tried to start a conversation and this friend ignored her. I saw her smile disappear and her heart sink. I sat there as she gathered herself to walk back to me and listened as she tried to explain how the little girl must’ve just not wanted to talk right then.

Let’s pause here and say it was all this Momma could do not to march over and tell that little girl about the friend she was missing out on. To explain how she should be happy to make friends with my baby because she is awesome loyal and true. Instead, I watched and prepared to be the support she needed.

As she stood in front of me I took her had and started the conversation I knew we needed to have. The one I wanted to avoid. The one where I had to explain to my sweet loving child that everyone isn’t your friend and that’s okay.

It’s okay to be picky with your gift of friendship.
It’s good to wait before giving someone the honor of being in your circle.
Learning who a person is will help you understand if they pair with who you are.
Friendship should be treasured by you and the person you share it with.

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Lessons I learned over the years and now share with my daughter. Lessons I hope will give her the strength and confidence in her value to avoid the hurts I felt and find friends who are true to who she is and who she will be.

How easily do your children make friends?

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Tee

Lifestyle Blogger & Media Influencer at IT's Me, Tee

I am the ‘ Tee’ behind It's Me, Tee an award-winning Lifestyle Blog where I share my love of all things Faith, Family, Fashion, Food, Fun, Tech & Travel.

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