“Put Some Vaseline On It!”
I hear these words more often that you would think someone should. I have officially crowned my Hubby the King of Vaseline. It’s like his ‘cure all’ for whatever may be ailing one of the Kiddies at any given moment. Bug bites, scrapes, bruises, rashes on top of the stuff you normally use Vaseline for like chapped lips or rough skin.
My Hubby used to joke when he was in the Military that if you weren’t dying there was nothing that an Ibuprofen and some water couldn’t take care of. I think he must have carried that belief into our civilian lives but since we are dealing with Kiddies he found something a bit more on their level….Vaseline.
This is a typical day throughout our home:
Daddy, I got bit by a squito…
“Awww…go get the Vaseline to put on it”
Daddy, my arms hurts.
“Come here let me put some Vaseline on it”
Daddy I just fell down and my knee is scraped
“Go get the jar so I can put some Vaseline on it”
Whatever the issues or the complaint his reply is 99.9% “Put Some Vaseline On It” I knew our family used a lot of the stuff, I mean heck, it’s all around our house and even our cars. It’s like we never go anywhere without it. We have the large family sized jars, the mini jars and they are everywhere!
Yet, I think it’s gotten to the point where my Hubby has actually convinced my Kiddies that the Vaseline CAN taking care of every issue. I think he sees it as a way to take their minds off whatever little thing they are complaining about. Yet its still hilarious to me how seriously they take getting that Vaseline put on!
They have now begun to come to me with things like:
“Momma Buddie just hit me in my knee, can I get some Vaseline?”
“Ma, my lip hurts, can I go get the Vaseline”
Even my 2 year old is walking around asking for Bas-a-leen for his lips.
Just yesterday, Hubby even applied the ‘cure all’ to something that was bothering me. I had gone to my Teenager’s first game for Band Season and at some point sitting on those bleachers someone must’ve yelled BUFFET to every mosquito around because when i got home I had 6 bites on one foot and at least 4 on the other. Remind me not to wear flip-flops to anymore games…only socks and Chucks from now on!
So, I was sitting there in the middle of the night scratching at the tops of my feet like a mad woman. I got up and put some hydrocortisone on them. Hubby’s reply? “I don’t know why you didn’t just Put Some Vaseline on them”
Huh Whaaa? I couldn’t even guess why he was suggesting that plain ol’ Petroleum Jelly Vaseline would stop the itches from several mosquito bites better than an anti-itch cream!
Then about 15 minutes later when I felt like I wanted to scratch myself silly, he looks over and says “I’m telling you go get the Vaseline!” So, off I went in somewhat of a pout because I wanted to prove to him that Vaseline Could Not take care of EVERYthing…but I also wanted to stop itching!
I rubbed a generous amount on all of my bites and waited. As I sat stewing over the fact that he had just done me like one of the Kiddies with his old Vaseline trick…I began to realize my bites weren’t itchy anymore. Gosh Darnit him and his Vaseline…it worked!
I have no idea if he has brainwashed us or if Vaseline truly is a top secret cure all…but I do know I can count on hearing him tell someone at least one time today…
“Put Some Vaseline On It!”
These are simply the honest rants and vents of a wife with a Vaseline obsessed Hubby…
BUT we could always use a few more jars 🙂 *
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