Yelling Less and Hearing More…

It’s 1:03am and I should be in bed sleeping because I have a crazy morning ahead of me with a Girl’s Night that I’m looking forward to with my NC Aunties plus one of my Aunts from New York who is here for a few day.  Yet am I asleep? Am I in bed? Nope.  Of course not.  Instead I am trying to rearrange buttons and badges on my site pages so that I can support blogger friends without my page looking crazy (my OCD folks I’m sorry I need order even in Domain-land).  As I was grabbing and placing my friends buttons I came across one on one of their pages with an Orange Rhino and a bright pink bird on it’s nose.  Of course the pink caught my attention…LOL

I clicked it and it brought me to a page with the heading of The Orange Rhino Challenge. Now I mentioned it’s like 1am so I was reading it and think ok why the pink bird.  So I took another look at the button and noticed that underneath it said “I can’t yell (for 365 days)…but I can still pick my nose” Cute right? I guess that’s why the bird is on the Rhino’s nose…? I dunno.  Again, 1 am folks.  So I decided to actually read the About section instead of trying to guess simply from the button.

As I started to read, I actually started to really read.  You know when your skimming something and barely absorbing.  I was reading and it was actually hitting home somewhere in my groggy, overdone and sleepy head.  The Orange Rhino Challenge was started by a Stay At Home Mom of four boys who realized one day that she was yelling too much.  That simple.  So she decided to challenge herself to stop.  She took it to a higher level and gave her self rules and levels of yelling that was ok and even a time schedule (365 days) in which to refrain from yelling.  A goal for how long she could maintain her voice at a peaceful and calm level.  She even set up a set of safeguards where if she did yell she would loose days in her countdown to the goal.  Can you imagine?  Being that disciplined?

Well I guess I’m about to because by the time I finished reading her story and the challenge I was ready to sign up and accept it.  I realized that I was also guilty of yelling too much, too loudly and most times for no real reason.  In all honesty a lot of my yelling (I’m talking at least 95% of it) isn’t from anger or even frustration.  Nope I have no huge background story on why I have so much pent up stress inside me that it just comes out in my voice.  It really is kinda silly.  My family is simply loud.  Yup.  That’s it folks.  Ever since I can remember at every family gathering or even just hanging together to watch a movie…we have always yelled.  I think it was more a way to be heard.  Why?  Because EVERYone is loud and if you don’t yell you aren’t going to be heard.  Period.  That simple.  No drama or anger.  Either you speak up or whatever it is you’re trying to say will most likely be left between you and the wall your sitting next to.  Now this loudness that I’m speaking of is only my side of the family.  When my Hubby first started interacting with them his first question was “Why is everyone yelling?”  My response…“Whose yelling? We’re just talking.”

This is where I first realized that it was actually a problem.  That was the thing.  I was around it so often I stopped noticing it as being anything other than normal.  Yet every gathering and family situation my Hubby would always comment “I just don’t get why you guys have to be so loud ALL the time.  You’re sitting right next to each other”.  He would even ask my Aunts and they would all just say, “We just talk like that.  You’ll get used to itIs that what happened to me? I got used to it?

After a while I did start to notice it myself.  In our home my Hubby never spoke as loudly as I did.  When I spoke he would always ask why I was yelling and I would say “I’m not” when in reality I was.  The day reality truly hit me was when my oldest daughter asked me why I was yelling at her and if she had been bad.  It broke my heart because I wasn’t yelling in anger I was just speaking to be heard…or so I thought.  I tried then to be conscious of how I spoke.  To think about my tone and level before saying something.  Yet with no real boundary or goal in mind I almost always reverted back to my natural tendencies.

This is where The Orange Rhino Challenge can help me…I hope.  I will feel accountable…to a guideline and a goal.  I have always been a person who works better under pressure and goals.  So, today I took the Challenge….

 

I can’t yell (for 365 days!)…but I CAN still pick my nose

 

 

**Disclosure: I was not compensated in anyway for this post.  All opinions are my own and written as individual observation.

 

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TheMrsTee

Lifestyle Blogger & Media Influencer at TheMrsTee
Tiffany is the ‘ Tee’ behind TheMrsTee. Tiffany is a BlogHer VOTY Award Honoree as well as a Contributing Author with Modern Social f/k/a iBlog Magazine and BlogHer. Growing herself as a Brand and Influencer are always at the center of Tiffany’s passion. As a Brand Ambassador, Tiffany has the opportunity to promote and support the brands she loves the most with her own unique perspective. Tiffany has extended her presence beyond her URL to Television as a Panelist for the MomsEveryday TV Show for 2 Seasons and to the stage as a Cast Member of the Finale Season of The Listen To Your Mother Show.
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